NIC: I’ve tried to put other things in but all I can come up with is music about whatever we’re talking about.  It’s why editing it can take so long; I listen once to get the gist, and then again to cut out all the erroneous crap, then listen again for additions and ideas.  Then I search for and splice in said ideas, and then one last edit for other spaces and gaps.  And that’s the first draft.  Not so much complaining as explaining, and not that the podcast is bad in the least –

JOE: YOU HATE IT DON’T YOU! AND YOU HATE ME!  If I had a bedroom door with me right now I’d slam it . . . I should install one on my cubicle –

NIC: I DON’T HATE IT! I DON’T HATE YOU! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!  (swings door open)  Hmmmm . . . I’m going to install a door to my desk.  “Nic what is this door doing here?”  “Well, I have a friend in Florida, and he can get dramatic.”

JOE: Haha.  ” I can’t believe you! You can just go to hell!! … Nic can you slam your door for me?”

NIC:  (40 minutes later)  “Holy shit, I just saw this, I was at lunch” (SLAM.)

JOE: (wakes up)  Oh, sorry, I forgot what that was all about.

NIC: “NIC, STOPPING SLAMMING YOUR SELF-INSTALLED DOOR!”  “Sorry boss . . . Joe we need to be in the same office to do this.”

JOE: “You don’t see me complaining about hanging out by the water cooler with you. We don’t even have a water cooler. I have to stand by the urinal with my coffee and laugh about your texts.”

NIC: “At least you have a urinal. I have to use a bucket in the alley outback . . . there are bats living out there.”

JOE: “At least you have bats! We have field mice with cardboard wings taped to their backs. They’re not even indigenous. We have them shipped in from Detroit.”

NIC: “Well look at Mr. La-Dee-Da over here with his ‘imported rodents’. All these bats are illegal immigrants from across the border, and they’re taking the jobs of homegrown American bats everyday!”


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